You Don't Have to Choose Between Being Liked and Being Respected
Corporate environments are not always easy places to be human.
The stakes are high. Issues rise constantly. Competition is real. And if you've spent any amount of time in a leadership role, you've had at least one moment where you wanted to flip a table, say exactly what you think, and walk out with zero apologies.
But we always have a choice: empathy over reaction. Respect over ego. Boundaries over explosions.
Alison Fragale's Likeable Badass gives a framework to understand why that choice actually works, and more importantly, how to make it without shrinking yourself in the process. I’ll be forever thankful for Heather M. one of my most valuable mentors, for recommending this book.
The concept is simple and brilliant, which was huge in helping me to put into words what I spend, really years, trying to make sense of. A likeable badass is someone who is both warm and assertive. Not one or the other. I really appreciate that this is not inviting us to change who we are to do it. We just have to learn how to dial it up or down depending on the situation.
That's not inauthenticity. That's (EMOTIONAL) intelligence.
Think about it like temperature (nudge, nudge to The Simmer Project). You're still you. But in a tense negotiation you dial up the assertiveness. In a conversation with someone who is struggling you dial up the warmth. You're reading the room and responding intentionally instead of just reacting.
In 13 years of corporate life I've learned that the people who last, who actually build something real, are almost never the loudest or the hardest. They're the ones who figured out how to be taken seriously without making everyone around them feel small.
That's the likeable badass. And honestly? It sounds a lot like simmering to me.